Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
