no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
