She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
