my sisters under your porch take her home
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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