Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
