why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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