i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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