Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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