I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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