I want to make a zoo with you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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