so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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