If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
