dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
