I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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