it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
