I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize