Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
