I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
