She said her name was "party"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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