I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
