dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
