we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize