I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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