the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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