Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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