It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
