So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
