he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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