What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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