i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
false alarm. still invincible.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
