i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
