Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
