Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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