you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
