Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
