I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
