You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
