youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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