Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
