All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
