Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
no, he came in my armpit
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
