haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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