You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
