I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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