Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
