hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
