did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
