Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
