By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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