Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
