note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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