she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
