walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Randomize
