All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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