i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
